When Success Feels Like Failure
Low life satisfaction.
Constant anxiety.
No balance whatsoever.
Sometimes success isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, and when that reality hits, it’s such a freaking downer.
As women, there is so much pressure on us to have it all. Climb to the top of the corporate ladder, find the perfect partner, Insta-worthy your home, be a super-parent, and run the damn world. (Thanks a lot, Beyonce!)
Having decided as a young child that failure was simply not an option for me, I set out on my path as the highest of high achievers I knew. From school to university and into my professional life, I was always top of the class or first choice for the promotion; basically, I always got what I wanted.
Or at least what I thought I wanted.
Strangely, despite always winning at everything, I still hadn’t found true happiness. Wins were great, but they were never as exciting or fulfilling in reality as they seemed from afar.
After working as a teacher for a number of years and finding my perfectionism-induced anxiety was getting the better of me, I took a break and started an entirely new career in the corporate world. I stayed with the same organisation, moving up through a variety of roles for 13.5 years.
To say I was stuck in a comfort zone was an understatement.
I had spent my whole life overachieving and taking the next logical step. Being so top-notch at my work meant more work just kept getting piled on. I developed a fear of failure and I just...
Couldn’t. Say. No.
Then disaster struck, not once but twice. They went by the name of MRSA and glandular fever - both clearly sent to halt me in my tracks and damn well listen at last. The asshole of infections threw me into a heap and forced me to do the one thing I really didn’t want to do. STOP!
It was the annoying wake-up call I didn’t know I needed and I finally realised I was stressed, miserable and not living my best damn life.
Cue Freddie Mercury,
“I want to break free.”
And gosh, did I ever!?
So, between naps, I spent my recovery period reflecting on the things I had achieved, working out what I enjoyed and tossing anything that didn’t serve me into the trash. I gained a totally new perspective on what I wanted in life.
I took to perfectionism rehab in the same high-achieving way I had leapt at everything else in my life: with every ounce of my being. I meditated, did yoga, saw a counsellor and delved deep into developing a healthier mind and habits. It was the first time I had ever invested so much in my health and wellbeing, and it felt incredible.
I was ready to find my ikigai.
I knew that I found great joy in connecting with others, and sharing skills and knowledge in both my teaching job and as part of my corporate job’s Learning and Development team. In my time of self-development, I discovered a love and fascination with the human mind. I studied mindfulness, cognitive behavioural therapy and completed a certificate in counselling skills.
I had successfully reignited my life-long desire to continually develop myself and others.
For the first time in so many years, I felt like I was on the right path. I had finally given myself permission to pursue other options
Coming to terms with the fact that my constant high-achiever status was in fact a negative was a steep learning curve, but an incredibly powerful one. I returned to my corporate job, but committed to myself that I would continue to upskill my coaching and passion around all things related to the mind, personal and business success, and fulfillment.
Becoming a qualified Executive Coach to help female executives find their own ikigai and make the necessary shifts in their life is the most wonderfully rewarding job I have ever done. I am genuinely excited to get out of bed every morning.
Dolly Parton said,
“Find out who you are and do it on purpose.”
I’d like to think that’s exactly what I’ve achieved. In finding my ikigai, I gave myself permission to end my corporate life and was able to work towards my goals with a strong sense of knowing I was absolutely on the right path.
I named my signature program Revive and Redefine because it’s exactly what I have done in my life and precisely what I recognised so many of my colleagues so desperately needed too.
The power of harnessing the right mindset, building on your strengths and taking consistent actions against your goals is the key to freedom, success, happiness and fulfillment.
When you give yourself permission to let go of expectations and all that stuff you think you ‘should’ be doing, it allows you to make room for the things that make you happy.
Give yourself permission.
Take action.
Start loving today.
I’d love to help you get there.
Book in a call or join my private Facebook group, The Executive Lounge, and let’s find out who you are and do it on purpose.